Developing your ideas

One of the shortcomings of student writing that I see regularly is the failure to fully develop ideas. Below is part of a color-coded handout I created for my high school English students to help them develop and flesh out their ideas in a Critical Lens essay, which is part of the current New York State English Language Arts Regents Exam (soon to be replaced by the Common Core test), but I think these same techniques can apply to almost any type of essay that requires the use of supporting examples (i.e., any essay or paper for a college class). Be aware that the example to follow assumed the following introduction:

According to Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius, “Whosoever does wrong, wrongs himself.” This statement implies that bad, evil, or wrong acts do not only affect the victim of the acts but have a negative effect on the perpetrator as well. Two works of literature that prove the validity of Marcus Aurelius’s statement are Macbeth by William Shakespeare and The Crucible by Arthur Miller. Both Shakespeare and Miller use a variety of literary elements – including conflict, theme, and characterization -- to emphasize their meaning.

Developing your Critical Lens essay

Students often mention literary elements in their Critical Lens essays, but do not fully develop their ideas. This gives their essays a repetitive, choppy, “list-like” quality and leads to lower scores on the exam. One way to help you flesh out your ideas and avoid under-developed essays is to use this 3-step technique:

1.) mention a literary element

2.) provide a specific example or direct quote

3.) relate the example or quote back to your main idea

Here is an example of an under-developed “list-like” paragraph:

In The Crucible, Arthur Miller uses some literary elements to show John Proctor wronged himself when he did wrong by committing adultery against his wife, Elizabeth. Miller uses characterization to show this. He also uses conflict; specifically, he uses the internal conflict Proctor feels over his guilt. This is how literary elements are used in The Crucible.

The writer of this paragraph does mention literary elements, and probably thinks he or she “covered the bases,” but this type of exposition will not lead to a maximum score on the exam. This writer has covered the “mention” part of the  3-step technique, but needs to add steps 2 and 3 in order to “flesh out” his or her ideas.

First, let’s add some specific examples or details. The added information is inserted with brackets [like this] so you can distinguish it more easily:

In The Crucible, Arthur Miller uses some literary elements to show John Proctor wronged himself when he did wrong by committing adultery against his wife, Elizabeth. Miller uses characterization to show this. [One time when Proctor’s guilt manifests itself is when he fails to remember one of the Ten Commandments when questioned by Reverend Hale. Ironically, the only commandment he forgets is the one he committed – adultery. Miller] also uses conflict; specifically, he uses the internal conflict Proctor feels over his guilt. [For example, Proctor’s guilt prevents him from confronting Abigail’s lies early in the play, when he could still have prevented the witch trials from taking place.] This is how literary elements are used in The Crucible.

Next, let’s add some context by relating back to our main idea that “bad, evil, or wrong acts do not only affect the victim of the acts but have a negative effect on the perpetrator as well.” These changes are inserted inside braces {like this}:

In The Crucible, Arthur Miller uses some literary elements to show John Proctor wronged himself when he did wrong by committing adultery against his wife, Elizabeth. Miller uses characterization to show this. [One time when Proctor’s guilt manifests itself is when he fails to remember one of the Ten Commandments while being questioned by Reverend Hale. Ironically, the only commandment he forgets is the one he committed – adultery. Miller] also uses conflict; specifically, he uses the internal conflict Proctor feels over his guilt. [For example, Proctor’s guilt prevents him from confronting Abigail’s lies early in the play, when he could still have prevented the witch trials from taking place.] {As we have seen and will continue to see in the play, Proctor’s sin of infidelity comes back to harm him in various ways.} This is how {the} literary elements {of conflict and characterization} are used {to reinforce the idea of “karma”} in The Crucible.

Although not perfect, this paragraph has better development of ideas than the original.

© 2014 Bob Dial.  All rights reserved.