Do you know Bill? William? Willie? Try Shakespeare.

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domain photo (with text added by
the author).

One perplexing characteristic I see in student writing -- and perhaps it is emblematic of the increasingly relaxed formality of modern life -- is the use of first names to indicate famous people (usually authors) in the papers I grade. Thus, I’ll read a sentence like the following: “Some scholars believe that William wrote Macbeth in 1603 to coincide with the investiture of King James of Scotland.” Wow, my 16-year-old high school student is on a first-name basis with William Shakespeare. Who knew?

This usage of first names is, of course, improper. The right way is to use the full name upon first reference, and then last name only (or pronouns) for subsequent references. Thus: “William Shakespeare … he … Shakespeare … he … he … Shakespeare,” etc. Obviously, in a lengthy essay or a book-length work, the full name will be repeated occasionally.

The only time it’s appropriate to reference first name only would be when describing the author as a child. It would sound too stiff to refer to Shakespeare asleep in his crib or teething. It’s okay to use William or Will (or whatever his parents called him) in that case.

As for me? I’m Mister Dial to my high school students. I tell them that my parents named me “Mister” because they knew I was going to become a teacher…

© 2014 Bob Dial.  All rights reserved.

Please DO take that (formal) tone with me!

Did your parents ever say to you, “Don’t you dare take that tone with me, young man (or lady)”? Yes? I must confess, me too. Chances are it’s not what you said but how you said it that prompted this parental warning. That is, in fact, the very definition of tone. I’m guessing that the tone of sarcasm probably played a role in the scenario above. Gee, I've heard tell that teenagers can sometimes be sarcastic... Just as in spoken language, you can also take a tone in writing. For example, many readers interpret emails written in ALL CAPS as projecting an angry tone akin to shouting.

Here’s another way to use tone -- to mean the opposite of what you say. If I’m walking down the hallway at school and one of my students greets me with, “Um, nice haircut, Mr. Dial” [insert eye roll here], I can tell from the student’s tone whether he or she really thinks I have a good haircut or not. In this example, the student’s words state “nice haircut” but the meaning is the exact opposite -- not a nice haircut. It’s bad -- very, very bad. One literary masterpiece that uses a more sophisticated form of this technique is Jonathan Swift’s essay “A Modest Proposal.” Swift invents a fictional narrator with a satiric persona whose (not at all modest) proposal is diametrically opposed to Swift’s own beliefs about the subject of poverty in Ireland. Read this classic essay and you’ll see what I mean.

For student writers in college, the principal question about tone concerns formality. In a college paper, you definitely want to maintain a formal tone. Occasionally, students will inadvertently slip into an informal tone while writing a formal paper, but you should endeavor to avoid doing this. Do not use slang words or jargon. One example I see frequently is the phrase “back in the day,” which I've learned can mean anytime from yesterday to the dawn of recorded civilization. Indeed, this informal phrase violates more than one principle of language use. Not only is it informal, but it’s vague and is fast becoming a cliché as well. Instead of writing “back in the day,” identify the specific time period you are referring to.

Of course, we all engage in both formal and informal modes of communication. There's even a term for it: code switching. The key is to realize when informal communication is acceptable (an email to a friend, a conversation in a dorm room) and when formal communication is required. Just remember, writing your college paper is always a formal event.

© 2014 Bob Dial.  All rights reserved.