That qualifier is so very really totally NOT necessary!

One type of word that too frequently springs up like a noxious weed in student writing is the qualifier/intensifier. Intensifiers are words like very, really, actually, and truly. Most of the time, they are either: 1.) not needed at all; or 2.) best eliminated by thinking of a better word (adjective, adverb or verb), thus embedding the “very-ness” into the newer, better word.

Let’s take for example the ever (over) popular intensifier “very,” a word I habitually cross out in student writing. Instead of writing that a building is “very tall” -- yawn, how blandly vague! -- why not describe the building as “monolithic” or “gargantuan,” both words that encapsulate the “very-ness” (and some massiveness too) into the “tallness”?

If “she runs really fast,” the intensifier “really” modifies the adverb “fast,” which in turn modifies the verb “runs.” So why not just replace the intensifier AND the adverb with a stronger verb? “She sprints” or “she dashes.”

Here’s another good example. Frequently, where I work, teachers will receive a message that announces, “Fire drills will be conducted today unless it is actively raining.” This message always leaves me scratching my head. How is “actively raining” different from “raining”?... Anytime you can eliminate an unnecessary word, that’s a great and beautiful revision and you should celebrate accordingly!

Perhaps the worst offenders are “truly” and “actually.” If “she is truly going to do it,” then “she is going to do it.” If “he handed me an actual loaf of bread,” then “he handed me a loaf of bread.” Adding “truly” or “actually” doesn’t make an object or action more real than it already is. In recent years, I’ve seen “physically” used too often as well. “The man physically handed me a dollar bill.” Ooookaaayyy… How about, “The man handed me a dollar bill” instead?

So, in sum, you should truly, really and actually stop using these unnecessary qualifiers and intensifiers!

© 2014 Bob Dial.  All rights reserved.

Get rid of clutter -- don’t be a word hoarder!

Source: Wikimedia Commons public domain photo

You’ve probably seen the reality TV series “Hoarders: Buried Alive,” which shows the unseemly lifestyles of people compulsively unable to part with any of their material possessions. Well, like apartments and houses, sentences and paragraphs and essays can also become cluttered with too much stuff -- in this case, unnecessary words and phrases.

Revision, the process at the heart of all good writing, is largely about deciding to eliminate words and unnecessary material -- the same way a butcher trims fat from a prime cut of beef. Some of these decisions are easy and others difficult. Getting rid of unnecessary words contained in empty expressions and wordy constructions is easy. For example, as a journalism student I was taught never to use the phrase “the fact that,” which can often be replaced with simply “that.” Much worse was “due to the fact that,” a cumbersome phrase that even today makes me break out in hives. “We went to the store due to the fact that we needed some bread” can always be shortened to “We went to the store because we needed some bread.” One word instead of five is always a bargain. Never write “due to the fact that.”

Other cuts can be more painful, however. These are the beautiful, polished little gems (phrases, sentences, and sometimes whole paragraphs) that just don’t fit in with the topic or focus of your essay. We love them because they are so clever. Creative writing teachers have a blunt slogan to describe the act of cutting these precious statements. They say you have to “murder your darlings.” Anything that interferes with clarity and communication, no matter how lovely, must go. Those are the tough cuts to swallow, but swallow them we must.

© 2014 Bob Dial.  All rights reserved.